24

Not many were aware of the occasion as I had unlinked my birthday from facebook notification a few years back, but the past week saw me celebrating my 24th.

It's not that i want to test who my true friends are – I understand that there's just so many birthdays that we can't keep track of it all. I mean, I also don't remember my friends' birthdays hahaha. Instead of making celebrations obligatory, I just want to keep things free and easy, spending the special occasion with my loved ones without imposing it on anybody else.

Aligned with my desire to keep things low-key, my birthday celebrations weren't extravagant. My LG kickstarted it with a simple dinner, great conversation and a round of affirmation. It wasn't anything special but I appreciated the time spent together very, very, very much ☺️

YX and I wanted to visit a video gaming cafe on my birthday and we later on decided to invite some of our mutual friends to join us while withholding the information that it was my birthday though I think he eventually told them la cause they presented me with a card and a cake (thank you friends!). Had a great time laughing because of the games we played. I could totally use the clips I've recorded as blackmail materials in the future 😂

We left the group in the evening to join my family for dinner. The food was really good and the prices were reasonable! If you're living in the east and are looking for a decent zichar place, do give the place a try. Especially the double hor fun 👍🏼

Jin Hock Seafood 金福海鲜菜馆 | 844 Tampines Street 82, 520844

***

To be honest, birthdays are quite overrated. Why do we even celebrate birthdays? The reason(s) fluctuates person to person and even my answer changes with each passing year, from commemorating a milestone reached to recognising my significance on earth to letting others fuss over me as a way of loving them. But this year, I celebrate my birthday because I want to celebrate life.

I'm not sure about most people but I tend to think about death a lot. Not in a suicidal way – there is a difference between wanting to die and wanting to kill yourself – but more of a philosophical manner. Any rational person who would sit down and analyse the situation would come to the same conclusion that life is pretty meaningless.

And while I don't always feel depressed, death is a presence that doesn't leave. Most days I can easily continue my life while ignoring death but his presence loomed a little larger than usual a few weeks back.

I felt my life being sucked out of me. I was extremely unmotivated – more so than usual – and utterly demoralised. But even in my despondency, I remember the feeling of gratitude washing over me. I was reminded time and time again of how blessed I really am and how undeserving I am of what I have and I began giving thanks – for my family, for my friends, for my workplace. There is a difference between wanting to die and wanting to kill yourself.

I think that difference is gratitude.

And so while life sometimes gets a little harder, I recognise that He has gifted me with much. I know I’m surrounded by people who love me, and most importantly by Love Himself. That, I can give thanks for.

Another year has passed, another year sustained by God :)


Thank you to those who sent me well wishes and for celebrating my birthday. Appreciate it! And of course, the biggest thanks goes to YX who tried to coordinate the celebrations between our friends and my family haha. Planning isn't his strongest suit so he got a bit stressed out throughout the week even though my celebration was a simple affair lol. He also spent a lot of thought (and money!!!) into buying me the perfect gift. I love it, thank you very much 💕

PS, I straightened my hair!! Yay to having fuss free tresses every morning!