Yet here I am, getting punched repeatedly with no way out. I am so tired already. Let them beat me up for all they want. I just want to slump in a corner, close my eyes and drift off. I find myself thinking, "when will this all end?"
I can almost taste the iron at the tip of my tongue now. God where is the victory that you promised me? I'm starting to lose my focus. I cry out, "where are you God?"
A pause.
And then I hear his reply. Repeated in various forms.
A wave of relief rushes over me. My breathing regains its steady tempo. I feel better already. God assured me of his presence and his presence is comforting for I'll know that he is still in control, even in a losing fight.
I had forgotten something, though. I had forgotten that my God is a God who understands what I'm going through because he has went through it himself - and worse. For when Jesus cried "Abba Father, why have you forsaken me?", there was no answer. I don't think I'll be able to get up if God ever turns his face away from me. I think I'll just give up and die there. There's no way I would be able to cope.
But God did reply.
His presence is still with me.
And so, I trudge on.
Ecclesiastes 3:11a
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
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