THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE

Is marriage about companionship or about transformation? I think most of us want to get attached because of the fear of loneliness but recently, I came to the conclusion that marriage is nothing unless the person helps to be more like Christ.

There's a question that I've been asking for a period of time. Why will there not be husbands and wives in the afterlife when marriage was instituted by God before the Fall? Won't God restore earth back to what it was before? And if marriage is good, why would He not restore it and instead, remove it?

Thanks to a conversation between YX and my boss, I slowly start to see why.

First, God created Eve because He said that it was not good for Adam to be alone. We usually take this at face value – that Adam requires companionship. But we overlook the verses preceding that.

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

God saw that it was not good for man to be alone after He gave the specific commandments. Therefore, it was not because of companionship that God gave Adam Eve. He gave him a woman to help him to obey God.

And this is the reason why our marriage has to help us become more Christlike. It is the main reason why God instituted marriage – not companionship – even though it is one of the perks that comes along. We know that all of us will be perfect in the New Heaven from Philippians 1:6. Therefore, marriage is no longer needed because we will be completed by God!

For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

You may ask: If we will be made complete in the New Heaven, then why wasn't Adam complete in Eden even though He was walking with God? I also asked this question but this question makes the assumptions that 1) Adam's state was perfect before the Fall and 2) we will revert to Adam's state after resurrection.

Let's deal with the first assumption. By perfect, I mean he still had his human nature. That is, he had his fleshly desires which might run counter to God's desires. And this is shown through how God was worried Adam could not obey the commandment and Adam's actual failure to obey it. So in that sense, Adam wasn't perfect.

I understand this can be hard to swallow. I actually laughed at YX and called "blasphemy" and "heretic" on him when he first proposed the theory that Adam wasn't perfect to begin with. But think about it. Why won't there be pain or sin in the New Heaven? Isn't it because there is a difference between Eden and the New Heaven; Adam and us? What exactly is the difference?

The only logical conclusion is there won't be free will in the New Heaven and Earth.

I'm not saying that God removes our free will. No, to do that is to remove any sort of love because there's no love if there's no free will. But I think our will will become one with God's will so much so there won't be space for our free will per se in that sense.

Which is why it is so important for us to choose if we want to acknowledge God as our Lord and Saviour in this life. Because when the Second Coming comes, we will be brought to completion according to what we've chosen and our "free will" will end.

Hence, we won't revert to Adam's state in the eternal life. Unlike Adam, we won't have "free will" to choose anything besides God and of Him. And unlike in the Garden of Eden, there won't be sin nor pain because we won't have "free will".

And this further cements the point of why there won't be marriages in the New Heaven and Earth – because we no longer need a spouse to help us in our walk with God. We will be one with Him!

Understanding this has a huge impact on why we choose to get attached/married. I realised that a lot of believers settle for nominal Christians as their partners because Aiya as long as we are of same faith can liao right? I mean biblically speaking yes. But that's really the minimum requirement because how will your partner fulfil the purpose of marriage of making you more Christlike when he/she isn't even a believer in the first place?

But when we understand that the purpose of marriage is not for companionship but for transformation, then we need to be more careful in choosing our partners. Marriages doesn't exist in the New Heaven so will we make our decisions based on this life, or with eternity as our perspective? Will we choose someone who can take care of us in this present age but also prepare us for the age to come?

This is something we have to consider carefully.

VALENTINE'S DAY

We celebrated our first Valentine's together today! It was a pretty normal like any other dates because YX doesn't buy into gimmicks haha. So we simply shopped for my new glasses, ate dinner, and talked.

Tbh, I had hoped for a day filled with events, but I knew it wasn't going to happen because of his personality. If it were me, I would plan a day of fun activities for us to do and celebrate (like his upcoming birthday!), but i've learnt that your partner can't satisfy all your desires according to your preferences. Instead, I'm grateful that he suggested taking leave just to spend the day together, and for staying up late to make me a card ❤️.

And most importantly, I'm very thankful that he accompanied me to my grandma's place for lunch. It turned out to be the best decision ever because my grandma received Christ!!

I've been praying with her and teaching her to pray ever since her health scare a few years ago, but never got the opportunity to share Christ because I didn't feel it was the correct timing. But while I was praying yesterday, HS prompted me that today could be a good day to testify. I was still unsure if I would share the gospel with her until the moment presented itself. To my surprise, she decided to accept Christ when I asked!

I know that this isn't the end of my grandma's faith journey – "backsliding" is very possible – so I'm planning to go through First Steps with her. Not sure how I would do it, or when would I even get the chance to do it as there are always relatives around, but I'm sure God will provide a way 😌.

Looking back, I take what I said in the beginning back. Today was a pretty eventful day, in a HS-esque manner. Best Valentine's Day ever, and best Valentine's Day gift ever. After all, Valentine's all about love, and there is no greater love to celebrate than the Love from above :)

When you realise your parents are better at taking hipster shots than you do...

So, my parents abandoned me and my sister over the weekend and went to HK by themselves. I was pretty shocked when they whatsapped me their photos. Don't they have vintage vibe to it? I mean yeah, besides the fact that they used 'fade' (which btw, I'm surprised they even know how to colour edit) and that HK has a retro feel, the compositions of their photos are really nice too! Also, I don't know if its because my father's limbs are long but he is darn good at taking photos with a selfie stick without being very obvious at all!!

A sense of inexplicable warmth swell within me when i see their pictures because 1) it looks legit amazing and 2) I am glad that they are enjoying themselves together. I love their couple shots, especially the last one because they are juxtaposed by a random older couple at the back and it's just... wow (ok on hindsight, they look like they could be father/daughter but I'm just gonna ignore that possibility). The happiness of my parents brings me much joy. Thank you, thank you, thank you :')