A new segment

Where do i even start...

Hm, i guess i just want to be a better steward of what God has placed in my hands. During a church conference some years back, Pastor Claudia was challenging people to uphold God in the media area, especially in the social media. It really spoke to me and i responded. Back then, i had taken down my blog's url because i didn't want strangers reading this space. Anyway, I responded with passion during that conference. That passion dwindled away fast. I really struggled with my decision of 'publicising' my blog thereafter. It took me a few months of Holy Spirit's promptings - and do you know how it is like to be nudged by God daily?! - before i decided to put skinnybananas on my social networking sites.

The whole idea of not being able to know who reads my thoughts frightened me. And it still frightens me! You'd think that i would be prepared when people tell me they read my space since my url is now deliberately exposed. NO. My brain goes into an overdrive trying to recall and scan what i wrote. Sometimes my reflex simply takes over and i simply react. Sorry Mama Juen for slamming your laptop screen :/.

Um, not that skinnybananas has a lot of spiritual posts la. I retained the personal, day-to-day (more like month-to-month now) activities because i wanted this blog to still be relatable. But i try to make an effort in encouraging people be it through my experiences with God, worship songs, revelations etc.

Honestly i do not know if my efforts even make any difference. Do people actually read what i write? Especially when i am so long-winded, as you can tell by now (you should sit in when i 訴苦 to my mentor. I repeat words like a broken record). I do check my blog's statistics time to time and i know i have incoming readers from different places. But i do not know if they are reading my more 'spiritual' posts or if they simply stumbled upon my blog due to some old posts. Are they regular readers? Or just passer-bys? I don't know. And i guess i never will. Unless... will you, the reader, reading this be kind enough to comment in the reply section of this post if you've been encouraged by this blog in one way or another or if you are a regular reader? You can post anonymously if you'd like. And i don't care if you're reading this 10 years from now. Will you still do me this favour?

But that's besides the point. Even if there is no fruit, i will still continue to be faithful to what i've been entrusted with. Which finally brings me to the gist of this post, haha.

I wanna start a new segment in this blog where i share on some theological topics/discussion.

This idea came to me a week back. In terms of my spiritual journey, i feel like i have a lot of false humility. I am not sure if that is the correct description but basically while people are eagerly desiring spiritual gifts, i am all about the God 要給就會給 mentality. While people rush to the front to get prophesied over, i will tread carefully and take the backseat. I am the complete opposite of the 1 Corinthians 12 situation. But to not chase after God's blessings blindly is one thing and to not have zeal for it is another. I mean who am i to blame when i see people more connected to God than i am? I am actually envious of people who are constantly in tuned with God, being able to communicate with Him every waking moment. And it is the area of my insecurity as well. Most of the time I feel like I'm doing my life alone while trying to inject some "Hey God, today I..." here and there.

In trying to grow my zeal for God's blessings, i thought i should start with whatever gifts - however small they may be - i have and try to steward them well. After taking a test online, my top 3 gifting were administration, teaching and faith.

Um. Not too sure about the last component. I am actually quite faithless if i would say so myself. Do small things for God also want to humji. But definitely true about adminstration and to a certain extent, teaching. At least according to the definition on the site i took the test la.

Its been sometime since i teach teach but i do like to study the bible. As a young believer, i started reading Genesis through 2 Chronicles on my own accord because nobody could explain to me the historical context. I even thought what i was doing was normal until one day my unit leader asked "how many of you can say you read a chapter of the bible a day?" while addressing the congregation. It was like a deja vu moment for me -  like the time i discovered that visiting your grandparents every weekend is NOT the norm.

Many times it was when i started to question myself that i realised i didn't know the answers and had to take the initiative to find them out. Sometimes when I'm lucky, God will give me revelations which i am always happy to receive. I love love love revelations. That deep resolution that resonates even amongst the recesses of your soul. Yumxz. Best kind of spiritual food to me.

Btw, reading bible is not enough. Reading is different from studying. People should study the bible more often. It is so fascinating!!

Point is, since bible knowledge is kinda my strength, i suppose i can try to share a bit. I am a little hesitant - in fact this post has been sitting in my drafts for a month now - because i don't want to propagate the wrong ideas (HW shared that he spends at least 30 mins just crafting a Facebook post!!!). But i think i will try to be as thorough and careful as possible. Do note that it will be a sharing on what i've learnt, that is to say that i might not have the full picture of the entire topic. But i suppose that's why learning the bible is a lifelong journey. A verse can totally speak differently to you than when you read it a year ago! I already did a topic on tithe on offering unknowingly so um, stay tuned to the next topic?

Please don't expect this to be a regular/weekly series ok. This is not a free flow buffet - Go cook your own food too.

And since you've painstakingly reached the end of this post (i trust that you did not skip chunks of paragraphs), here's a bonus :D Click here to go to the free online bible commentaries that i always use before getting my ESV bible. It is freaking good and detailed. Now i use both online commentaries to double check my sources.