'Nuff said. The best drink ever... Not really, hahaha but its nice!
Dear gong gong,
Where should I start? The days after you died? Or the time that i spent with you? Maybe i should start with this:
I miss you.
The first time i ever experience grief was when i was seven. When my mom called the childcare center and asked for me, i had no idea what was going on. Through the phone, i heard my mom sobbing. Then she told me that you've passed away. I did not react immediately after i hear the news. I was seven, after all. I went back to the room and played with other kids until my granduncle fetched me and brought me to the funeral.
I remember talking cheerfully as he drives. I was still in a cheerful mood until i saw the coffin. That was when reality hits me. You're gone forever. For days, i kept crying and crying. Memories of you and me flooded my mind and i realised that i should have cherish you more; should have done more for you.
I was such a spoilt brat. Everytime i stayed over at your house, i would demand a massage. No, not just a simple massage. I demanded you and only you to massage me to sleep. When grandmother wanted to take over, i refused. And you would continue massaging me until i sleep. Every Saturday, you would do it. I never once stop to think about how tired your arms would be. I never care about how you felt. And now i regret it.
Every time you bring me and my sister to the nearest playground, we would ask you to buy ice cream for us. Every. Single. Time. And you always did it. No matter how much my mom complained about you spoiling us, no matter how much my mom said dont waste such money, you would still buy for us. I just took everything for granted.
There are so many things that you've done for me but i never noticed it. But my biggest regret is being shameful.
That day, before going to the hospital to visit you, my mom asked me to draw a get-well card. We brought the card into your ward. When my mom asked me to give you the card, i refused. I felt embarrassed because i thought that the card was ugly. But children have no say and before i knew it, the card was handed to you. Everyone in the room said that the card was nice, including you. Then i began to cry. This is probably one of the last few moments that i could do something for you so why did i hesitate? Why did i feel ashamed? I felt like i had betrayed your love for me and that was one of the unforgettable memories i have with you.
This is getting long. Anyway, i just want you to know that i love you. Always have and always will.
your granddaughter,
Siqi
Siqi
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