and i wonder if you know i cried while reading...?

I woke up early today to do my citations for WMM. And since i had time, i decided to do something special to my hair. I only braided one side cause im too lazy to do the other side. But guess what? ZT posted on my fb that my hair is messy like a madwoman.

Thanks ah.

And today, we missed the time to submit WMM. Ching Peng was hammering the staple because it could not staple 70 pages. When we found out where Ms Emida was, the 02 was doing their presentation. Anginn, Ching Peng and me were standing outside wondering if we should interrupt the class. I squatted down and peered into the glass to see where Emida is. When i saw Emida walking pass, i knocked impulsively. Plonk, it went and Emida squatted down to see who's outside.

Yeah, Anginn, Emida and me were all bending our bodies and twisting our heads to get a glimpse of one another.

I think all of us were worried and frustrated but as we look back, we realised we have so many stupid and funny moments.



Sometimes, i wonder if people think im a lucky person. I think i am. I have good friends, my results are ok, i dont have to worry about my financial status.

But i wasn't always happy.
I do have a scarred past. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. I used to be ashamed of who i am. I used to think my parents will hate me forever. I used get bullied all the time because i couldnt stand up for myself. I used to have no friends - my friends were the ones who bullied me. I used to think, "Why me? Why do i have to go through all these?".

And all of my problems, i kept it to myself. But luckily, i managed to overcome my past. I swore i would never tell what happened to me in primary school, not even my girlfriends, because i was so embarrassed by it. But now, if they were to ask, i would tell them. Because im finally, completely over my ugly past. I am not sorry about my past anymore because it was those incidents that shaped who i am today.

And i am not ashamed of who i am.
I've learnt to love and be happy for myself.


The main reason why i am not murking in the darkness of my shadows is because of the 3 of you. Over the past few years, i have repeated over and over again how much i appreciate you, love you and owe you. I never said it out irl but i mentioned it so many times in my previous blogs. I mean all of those words.

YL taught me to be happy.
XY taught me to be kind and forgiving.
SH taught me to be confident.

My primary school life might be tough but eventually i left the school a few of the most important people in my life. And i thank you guys for being in my life because you have made such a big impact. You guys helped me to break through and im sorry if i couldnt do the same for you. Im sorry if i cant be enough.

But you are not alone and i will always be there for you.

All images for this post are from my tumblr.

nothing much

I bought a brand new MANGO sweater at $12 and a cropped Audrey Hepburn singlet for $2.50
SAY WHUT?!
Yes, the wonder of flea markets (Y)

I officially have no life. Everyday, i go home straight after school. If i dont, its probably due to some project. When i hang out with friends, they're always the same people. I dont log into MSN and i only read FB's top news + notifications. 80% of the time im staring at my mac; the other 20% im sleeping. This whole cycle repeats itself but guess what?

IM OKAY WITH IT.

Its such a irony because before i entered poly, i aimed to be outgoing and sociable blahblahblah. In Year 1, i did try but soon, i got tired of the lifestyle. And i guess im tired with the people i hang out with. Its not like they're not good or what. But i think its hard for me to find friends that i actually dont mind hanging out with. I've rejected many outings because i prefer to stay at home and rot than to go out with them.

But let's not dwell on it. Today, i had an eye opener. I always thought that im not all that innocent but it seems that im naive to the pits. Life lessons are taught and learnt today. All these knowledge changed the way i look at people. I was so shocked that i can only keep on asking questions.


That sums it all for my part.
And since you didnt commit the crime which i accused you of, then its my fault.
End of episode.

To end with a lighter note...
I forgot to bring my contact lens case to my granny's house yesterday. No solution, no container, nada. So i filled a tupperware with tap water (which i changed to boiled water later on). My lens spent the next 24 hours in that tupperware w/o proper cleansing agent. Its now in my lens case (new one cause i lost misplaced the previous one) with solution. Im gonna wear it tomorrow and if i got eye infection, you know why.

money money money

Wearing my gray contacts! Its been about a week since i started wearing them. I think specs more comfortable leh, lol. Im not gonna commit to wearing contacts everyday. But im planning to get other designs. What colour should i try? Do comment cause i think other than gray, no colour suits me boohoo.

Oh! PW's friend said i was pretty one day. Hahaha make me happy only! I think im average-pretty but i dont think others think im pretty. Those who think im pretty are those who spent quite some time with me. The more you get to know someone, the prettier they become, no? At least for most cases, they do. But i rather think im pretty and ppl think im ugly than i think im ugly and ppl think im pretty. Because your mind is powerful. So no matter what people say, your mind determines what you perceive. So as long as i think im pretty, i can be happy (Y)

GSS STARTS TODAY! Hurhurhur :D But i cannot overspend my kaching. Thus, here is the shopping list that im gonna buy next month. MUST STRICTLY ADHERE TO THIS:

1. Navy blue shorts



2. Vintage oxfords (yes the trend is over but still.)



3. Bracelets.

4. Nude wedges. Ok, just kidding. I dont think i would buy cause im too tall (THE CURSE!) but i really do love them ):


5. Nude colour pullover. Can wear when monsoon period comes haha.


5. Red fedora hat
6. Dress

So yes, that's all i aim to buy for the month of June. MUST. STICK. TO. IT!

we will shop and never drop!!!!

Went shopping with bff again ^^
Im wearing the newly bought top and studded denim below:


You cant see my shorts very well but i love them to pieces! Only for $18.90 and it comes with a free belt! Haha, actually is the sales person who forgotten to take the belt off. I did not notice until we went to Burger King's toilet to try the clothes. And i was damn heng lor! The first shop didn't have my size (fml, i cant zip my shorts even though its M sized!). Then they didnt tell me they have another shop downstairs so i was damn disappointed for a while until i saw the affiliated shop!

And the top... well, actually i was torn between the cream coloured one or the brown one. Cream colour is very conservative so nothing can go wrong, no matter what i match it with. But SH says i have too many white tops so might as well try a new colour. So yup. Brown in the end. It looks like laosai colour now that i think of it ): And i dont have any bottoms to match, lol.


SH trying to show off what's she's wearing too.

















SH was trying to push my face away after i pressed the shutter button so it wouldnt be in the "light hole". We were fighting and screaming like mad. But i managed to do so in the end and it wasnt even blurred! (Y) Zai bo?





HAHA i got muscles ok?




And my fave of all!
kthxbai!

blogging while lilian drones on and on

A FEW MONTHS AGO:


Sitting down listening to CR's superdupermegaultra complicated love story.
Then we met up with Yinan before going for dinner. Missed her so much. Still remember last time we sit together during morning assembly, haha. Damn funny :D No. 1 hardworking girl!


Went to Pepperlunch for dinner. There were so many of us and we all ordered different set meals. I wrote it down on a piece of paper messily. The manager didnt even need my explanation! She just took the paper and got all the orders correctly (Y)

Then went Cathay to slack and talk.








After dont know how many shots, we finally succeeded. Its been proven that only my hand is long enough to take a group photo haha.


Then me and Valerie went to find the juniors who were nearby. She just wanted to see her boyfriend but drag me along nia :P


And about a month ago, i met up with them for dinner again! :D
But did not take much pictures ):
Did play murderer and werewolves though :D


Yup. I finally blogged about it. Delayed for so long liao ^^

shopping is my guilty pleasure.

The clothes which i've ordered a few weeks ago are here, scattered on the floor beside me. My mom didnt seem to mind my new clothes - which is a good thing because i've got one shirt reserved for me in a shop which i havent buy. I'll probably get it tomorrow and smuggle it into my online clothes so that my mom wouldnt know i bought new clothings. And im planning to get studded high waisted demin tomorrow.


Nice right? Its not uber popular now but i bet you that it will be in the near future. So yes, im so gonna get it. If i cant find the design that i so desire, im gonna DIY. Btw, the uk top that i mentioned in the previous post looks smth like what Tammy Tay wore in this video (design a little different):



Can someone say awesooooome? Now you see why i want it so badly.

Im trying to settle my online clothes orders now. Very confusing because im combining my order for this week and last week (i literally order clothes every week) and my friend's order. Another 5 pieces of clothes on their way when i havent even touch the clothes i've just received. Good job, Siqi.

I know why i keep buying clothes - because i dont use my money to pay for it. All my online clothes, i just tell what i want to my aunt and she'll buy for me. I'm starting to feel guilty because although the clothes are damn cheap, I BUY LOADS OF THEM. Plus, i reject some of them because its either too short/colour difference/ i bought similar tops or something. So, im planning to sell all my rejects - which i have not worn - in a flea market. Sihui is gonna sell her brand new clothes too so now we just have to buy a booth.

Im gonna rent the booth with my own money and help my aunt sell and give her all my profits because she really spent a lot of money on me. And its not just clothes; since young, my aunt has always been the one who satisfy me my materialistic needs wants instead of my parents. I'm really grateful and guilty so its the least i can do to help her earn back some ka-ching!

Thank God for my family. I am really blessed :') (Not saying this to make people jealous, just so you know)

Meanwhile, i shall collect all my rejects. If i really do set up a booth, come support me ok? Or can just chill with me or see other booths ^^ It will either be on a Friday or Sunday. Will discuss more with Sihui (:

Oh i went to church last Saturday. I met a old acquaintance there! We were supposed to bring a friend to the special service and Reynold bought him. He said, "We are from the same camp right?" and it really surprised me because i dont even remember him :/

I first met him during camp's night walk. He was my partner. And because it was so dark, i never really know how he looks like - just a vague impression. I have no idea how he could see my face. Even if he did, i dont know how he could recognise me because i honestly changed quite a lot since last year.

But it was a lovely surprise because right after the night walk, all the girls were talking about who their partner was and i was the only one who couldnt participate in their conversations cause i dont remember my partner, lol.

AND I LOVE MY KEYBOARD! I pasted those keyboard stickers and it looks super cute and girly! Haha i spent like an hour trying to paste it yesterday while chatting with Deshun. He's a very interesting guy... like Nat (:

Ok, i need to stop rambling on and on. Nobody is reading this, probably. And I was supposed to do my philosophy essay. Guess its another late night for me ):